Paul, in the book of Ephesians, directly correlates a man’s relationship to his wife, to that of Christ’s relationship towards a man. Specifically that the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church and Paul tells husbands: love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.

Now Christ gave his own life on the cross. There is no greater love than this, that one would lay down his life for his friends. We are His friends, if we follow what He says. Is it not Christ’s commandment, given through Paul, that we love our wives as he did the church?

Look at Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. Now if husbands could see the outcome of their long-suffering with their wives, and giving themselves to washing their wives with the word of God, then they too would see the worth in loving their wives as Christ gave himself for the church.

A virtuous woman is more rare than rubies. Are we only to love our wives if they be that virtuous woman who is harder to find than precious rubies? If “Yes”, then what hope have we who are needful of a savior; who will suffer long with our foolishness? Christ did not die for the virtuous, but sinners. It is our foolishness before God that causes us to go astray. So then, husbands must love their wives even if they tend to be foolish.

This can (and I say will) be grievous to a crucial point. Unfortunately, on top of sinful flesh, we have a generation of women, young and old; who have not been taught by older women (be it their mothers or mentors) to be obedient to their own husbands. This presents a goliath of a problem, but the command remains the same: “husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.”

A husband may be accustomed to repeatedly quoting thus to his unruly wife: “It is better for a man to live in the wilderness, than in a house with an angry and contentious woman”. And it is better for a man to escape to the wilderness, lest such a woman provoke him to violent reaction. It is a shame for a woman to provoke her husband so. Let it be known to such a contentious woman that though love is not easily provoked, it can be provoked. She should also know that a stone is heavy, and sand weighty; but a fool’s wrath (or provocation) is heavier than them both. (Proverbs 27:3)

This is when it comes to that crucial point; will the husband become bitter against her? Will he turn his face from her in disgust? Or, in his agony will he remember the agony that Christ went through on the cross? Will he remember the many times he tested the Longsuffering, and grieved the Spirit of the Lord?

It must be that a husband, in such a situation, could only keep from hardening his heart against his wife through submitting to Christ’s command. Thus realizing his own inability to do so, and lack of strength to keep up such a weight; he must cast it upon the Lord. He must admit that such a woman is too hard for him to deal with and ask God for the wisdom to rule her; and knowing she will not be ruled by her husband, ask God to teach her and cause her to submit under him. For any woman that will not be ruled by her husband is contrary to Christ and His commandments.

The goal is for a husband to present his wife as spotless and without wrinkle before Christ upon His return. The responsibility of the soul of the wife is on her husband. This is why a wife must submit in everything to her husband, the overseer of her soul; as the church submits to Christ in everything.

Matt Simonson

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